From Geek to Star #38 - The invisible career ceiling for tech leaders and engineers

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🗓️ This Week – Episode 38: the invisible ceiling

In the past two weeks, I had two different conversations with senior business executives where, at some point, my interlocutors told me that my profile was “interesting” because they did not often meet tech leaders with strong soft skills not only in the context of managing tech teams, but with a broader view on people and organisations.

One of them, a CEO, even asked me quite directly how I had developed my soft skills.

Thinking back on these conversations, I realised something: this perception is still very common at C-level. Many executives assume that tech leaders are strong on systems, logic, and problem-solving but weaker when it comes to communication, influence, and people dynamics.

And to some extent, this perception does have some grounds.

Why many tech careers hit an invisible ceiling

For those of us who went through scientific or engineering studies and then spent most of our careers in technical roles, our professional training has largely rewarded:

• logical reasoning

• system thinking

• analytical problem-solving

• individual expertise

Even when moving into tech management roles, we often manage people who are “wired” in a similar way. This creates an environment where communication feels easier, conflict is more predictable, and emotional dynamics appear secondary, at least on the surface.

As a result, many tech leaders remain largely inward-looking: focused on their systems, their teams, their roadmaps. And for a long time, this works.

Until it doesn’t.

At some point - often at senior levels - careers stall not because of a lack of technical competence, but because influence stops expanding beyond the tech perimeter. This is what I often call an invisible career ceiling.

“I know soft skills matter”… intellectually

Most tech leaders will say they agree that soft skills matter. And yet, in practice, they are often deprioritised.

Why? Because soft skills:

• are harder to measure

• don’t give immediate feedback like shipping code

• don’t feel urgent until something breaks

• are often perceived as “nice to have” compared to technical mastery

Being told by a leader, a coach, or a book that “soft skills are important” rarely changes behaviour. Conviction does not come from advice, I believe it comes from experience.

You usually only start truly caring about soft skills when you feel their absence:

• when your ideas don’t land outside tech

• when alignment meetings go nowhere

• when stakeholders don’t trust your judgement

• when your career progression slows down

How to start building soft skills (without becoming someone else)

Developing soft skills does not mean becoming extroverted, emotional, or “political”. It means becoming effective in human systems.

Outside of work, some people may discover this through community or charity activities. These environments are deeply people-driven and expose you to a wide diversity of behaviours, motivations, and emotions, in situations often very different from tech environments.

Inside organisations, soft skills become critical the moment you interact regularly with people from other lines of business. Even if you are not naturally convinced that relationships make work more meaningful, there is a very pragmatic argument that tends to resonate with engineers:

👉 Good interactions increase efficiency.

👉 Poor interactions create friction, delays, and rework.

That alone should make soft skills worth your attention.

One simple framework for better communication: AIM

If you are convinced enough to start, here is a very simple framework I often use for impactful communication: AIM.

Before any important communication, presentation, or meeting, ask yourself what your AIM is:

• A for Audience: Who am I really talking to? What is their background, pressure, and context?
  

• I for Intent: What is their intent? And what is mine?
  

• M for Message: What messages will actually meet both intents?

Many tech leaders fail at communication not because they lack depth in their content, but because they skip these steps and default to “explaining the solution”. Putting yourself in the shoes of your audience will drastically change how you formulate your ideas. 

AIM forces you to step out of your own head and design communication for impact, not correctness.

Soft skills as part of SHINE

In the SHINE framework, soft skills are not an optional add-on. They are the connective tissue that allows your hard skills, industry knowledge, network, and experience to actually compound.

You can be technically excellent for years without strong soft skills. But at some point, your career progression will depend less on what you know and more on how far your influence travels.

That’s where many tech careers either plateau… or break through.

🙏 I’d Love to Hear From You

Have you ever felt an invisible ceiling not because of your technical skills, but because of influence, communication, or perception?

Reply to this email, I read every note.

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✨ May the SHINE be with you!

From Geek to Star by Khang | The Way Forward